I just want you to know who I am

And I'd give up forever to touch you

Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight

I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

my small world, far away from your perfect one

Friday, August 10, 2007

the scars never seem to heal
hmmm... sometimes i really do wonder who reads this wreck of a blog, which i abandon at random times, randomly. like the last time i abandoned it was like a day after by birthday, cos i felt sad after it, my birthday was that sad... ahh well lets just skip the details, too gruelsome...
hmmm
ah well skimming over the sadder things in life, i seem to like dwelling on the happier moments, even when i'm depressed, quite a queer thing actually, but i like that way...keeps things in perspective i guess.
so today was the potluck, i will say i haven't had so much fun in ages, was really great, especially captain's bll in ultimate frizbee style, really great! *high fives theo the star catcher* great job all of you! that was one perfect afternoon =)
and still i'm here mulling over those scars, the scars,... will i ever move on if it goes on like this? i've done my best, i'm trusting God to do the rest... but i'm really scared where that might take me and i don't think i'm strong enough to take anymore of this...
i don't think i can do any of this on my own, IB and everthing associated with it...
i know i need God to show me the way and lead me on...
i know i want to let Him take over completely, to end the pain of disobedience and straying away from the path He'd chosen for me...
but why, why am i so scared of... letting go?

Jeanny made me listen to this song. I got a bit freaked out cos it exactly whats happening (more or less i guess)

The All-American Rejects - Straitjacket Feeling

Back me down from backing up
Hold your breath now it's stacking up
Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
so maybe I won't be alone
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell,
But Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be,
That face is tearing holes in me again

Trust you is just one defense
off a list of others, you don't make sense
Beg me time and time again
to take you back now, but you can't win
Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell
But Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again,

but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

And when that memory slips away
There will be a better view from here
And only lonesome you remains
and just the thought of you I fear
it falls away

Yesterday was hell
But Today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all I ever thought you would be
That face is tearing holes in me again,

but today I'm fine without you
Runaway this time without you
And all the things you put me through
I'm holding on by letting go of you

scary when you realise people have been through what you have and they're still surviving...

[x] i'm still waiting for you
Friday, August 10, 2007

I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryinâ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

i'm slipping off the edge

i'm hanging by a thread

i wanna start this over again.