I just want you to know who I am
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
my small world, far away from your perfect one
[x] i'm still waiting for you
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Congealing
I'm congealing from within.
I feel sick to the core.
I'm drifting away from my Lord.
I try and try and try.
I don't see an end to it.
I try so hard.
I need Him so much, yet i can't find time for Him.
Either sleep steals in and robs me of any chance of doing my quiet time with my Savior, or my overworked brain just forgets, forgets and keeps forgetting.
Today, at prayer meeting at school, i realised how much I need Him, especially in such a time as this, where i feel like i'm all alone, forsaken and forlorn.
Even though my body and soul and feet are weary, my heart praises the Lord for how much He's done for me in my first few weeks in ACS(I). My OGLs, my prayer group leaders, my classmates in 5.12 (the most amazing class in the whole world) both the guys and the girls who helped me through the difficult times i foresaw but never experienced because of them.
Thank you Lord, for sending them just when i was going to collapse, and thank you all for coming in at just the right time.
I love my school.
I love ACS(I).
I feel the spirit of the Most High God moving amongst us, stirring us from within and helping us move on when things get dificult.
Today, i felt a bout of depression kick in and i was nearly in tears because of it. The utter desperation of life, the solitude, the challenges seemed overwhelming. i'm not suicidal, but for a moment or so i felt life was a chore.
That moment passed with the help of my Lord, who sent friends over to cheer me, yay!!!!
Anyway, today something amazing happened...
At 4:40pm, ileft school completely forgetting the prayer meeting we were going to have this afternoon. My brain is a funny organ. It has the capacity to memorise the lam peng kwan text book but forgets minuscule bits of information like this. Anyway moving on, i waited at the bus stop. 3 bus 74s passed me by. Needless to say, I was extremely annoyed. Then someone asked me whether i'd been waiting there for long. Then realization stuck me flat on the face like a ten ton truck with a lot of heavy stuff it. I remembered the meeting and waded through the leviathan puddles that dotted the entire campus and reached the Air-Con room, soaked to the skin, even with my pretty pink umbrella. Amazingly though, i felt warm. I felt the Lord calming me down and leading me to Him, telling me the wonderful plans He has for me, leading me to the quiet place He has for me where only He and I exist, One yet separate, one steeped in sin and the Other, gently lifting the other out of it, despite the repeated back-sliding.
At the end of the session i realised my wallet was in my locker and without it, i would be worse than dead, unable to even board a bus, get inside the hostel, get my dinner, and get to my room.
Thankfully, i was able to get my wallet!
My Lord, what can i say about Him? He's just amazing and His Love endures forever!
I sin, I forget,
He's watching, He's sad,
He loves me, He saves me,
Even when i'm bad.
His Love is like a fountain,
His Mercy and Grace endure,
I look to Him for Shelter,
And for Forgiveness Pure.
I'm congealing from within.
I feel sick to the core.
I'm drifting away from my Lord.
I try and try and try.
I don't see an end to it.
I try so hard.
I need Him so much, yet i can't find time for Him.
Either sleep steals in and robs me of any chance of doing my quiet time with my Savior, or my overworked brain just forgets, forgets and keeps forgetting.
Today, at prayer meeting at school, i realised how much I need Him, especially in such a time as this, where i feel like i'm all alone, forsaken and forlorn.
Even though my body and soul and feet are weary, my heart praises the Lord for how much He's done for me in my first few weeks in ACS(I). My OGLs, my prayer group leaders, my classmates in 5.12 (the most amazing class in the whole world) both the guys and the girls who helped me through the difficult times i foresaw but never experienced because of them.
Thank you Lord, for sending them just when i was going to collapse, and thank you all for coming in at just the right time.
I love my school.
I love ACS(I).
I feel the spirit of the Most High God moving amongst us, stirring us from within and helping us move on when things get dificult.
Today, i felt a bout of depression kick in and i was nearly in tears because of it. The utter desperation of life, the solitude, the challenges seemed overwhelming. i'm not suicidal, but for a moment or so i felt life was a chore.
That moment passed with the help of my Lord, who sent friends over to cheer me, yay!!!!
Anyway, today something amazing happened...
At 4:40pm, ileft school completely forgetting the prayer meeting we were going to have this afternoon. My brain is a funny organ. It has the capacity to memorise the lam peng kwan text book but forgets minuscule bits of information like this. Anyway moving on, i waited at the bus stop. 3 bus 74s passed me by. Needless to say, I was extremely annoyed. Then someone asked me whether i'd been waiting there for long. Then realization stuck me flat on the face like a ten ton truck with a lot of heavy stuff it. I remembered the meeting and waded through the leviathan puddles that dotted the entire campus and reached the Air-Con room, soaked to the skin, even with my pretty pink umbrella. Amazingly though, i felt warm. I felt the Lord calming me down and leading me to Him, telling me the wonderful plans He has for me, leading me to the quiet place He has for me where only He and I exist, One yet separate, one steeped in sin and the Other, gently lifting the other out of it, despite the repeated back-sliding.
At the end of the session i realised my wallet was in my locker and without it, i would be worse than dead, unable to even board a bus, get inside the hostel, get my dinner, and get to my room.
Thankfully, i was able to get my wallet!
My Lord, what can i say about Him? He's just amazing and His Love endures forever!
I sin, I forget,
He's watching, He's sad,
He loves me, He saves me,
Even when i'm bad.
His Love is like a fountain,
His Mercy and Grace endure,
I look to Him for Shelter,
And for Forgiveness Pure.
Labels: 5.12, ACS(I), Christian Fellowship
[x] i'm still waiting for you
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryinâ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
i'm slipping off the edge
i'm hanging by a thread
i wanna start this over again.
Evelyn
ACS(I)
Loves Jesus
Hates Sin
Loves Her Buddies
Loves Singing for the Lord
Is Very Pseudo-Bimbo (just because she loves pink)
Usually gets depressed when all alone
When you have more ice-cream than you can finish
email her at evelynthangaraj@hotmail.com
Member of Chocoholics Anonymous
Loves French, c'est tres amusant!
someday we'll go dancing on the moon